Thursday, May 24, 2007

My daddy used to say that there comes a time when you have to face life no matter how horrible it might be and that that would be the moment when you become a man. Well, heavens to bettsy and holy shit, this is worse then anything I could ever imagine. I only woke up at 5 AM and already I've got some unknown Netlog freak saying happy birthday. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not the fact that it's lame or that it's my birthday but actually it's the principle of the idea. One day of the year I have to remember that I'm a whole year closer to being old, gray and senile. One more year added to the unforgivable cruel fate of my humongous erect male genitalia to go limp while I shit my pants with no one there to wipe my ass. Scary thought you say? I could go on for hours.
Now to get to the other aspects. Now, I'm not saying that becoming older isn't fun. On the contrary. I can drink till my lips go numb and go catatonic from alcohol poisoning and nobody would even care to take a second glance. I can walk past the border without parental approval and tell the stingy bastards to go shove a grenade up their asses when they ask for a bribe.
But that would constitute the whole of it. In essence I'm one year closer to being a middle-age loser like the people I make fun of on a daily basis. *Come to think of it I'm already there seeing as how I still fail to graduate from school. When you become nineteen and are still in school you start realizing that you do need a diploma for everything, including getting layed.* Then comes the part that I will never understand. Why the hell would I have to pay beers for every fuck head that I come across that never even cared if it's my birthday just as long as they get free alcohol. The down part of this is that I don't have money to buy beers even for my closest friends. Sometimes when you think life by itself is a cruel and unfaithful bondage-buddy you start seeing shit like this happen. Well fuck this....

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